Digging The Hole Of My Favorite Mole (And By Hole I Mean Her Vagina)
by Mordecock
Summary: Rigby and Eileen have an amazing journey through their sex life in the cafe.
1. Chapter 1

It was a busy day at the cafe, and Eileen was sippin' on that coffee to relax after a hard day of rude customers. After a while, Rigby and Mordecai decided to come in on their break because they wanted to. They sat down by Eileen and ordered two coffees like normal. As Eileen went to get their drinks, Mordecai nudged Rigby and leaned into his ear.

"Hey man, how tight do you think Eileen's pusspuss is?" said Mordecai.

"As tight as Muscle Man's shirt!" Rigby replied.

A collective "WOOOOAAAAAHHHH" rang out through the entire cafe. Eileen had just finished making their coffee, and brought the cups to them, before sitting down in front of them.

Rigby took a small sip from the coffee cup and muttered under his breath, "Eileen, this coffee is nasty as fuck, but the pussy game ridiculous."

"A decaf vanilla latte for Mordecai... And a regular grilled cheese flavored coffee for Rigby," Eileen added as she sat down. "What are we celebrating about today, guys? I heard you two yelling from the kitchen."

Rigby jumped up onto his chair and pointed at Mordecai, while yelling out toward Eileen. "We're gonna add another chapter to Mordy Moments, when he tries to finally sleep with CJ today. But, as we all know, Mordecai is alpha as fuck and will mess it up somehow, probably ending with spaghetti everywhere."

In response, Mordecai punched him in the shoulder, and yelled at him.

"Quit saying shit like that, man! We're just going out back in a few minutes to smoke some of this dank-ass kush that she bought earlier," he said with an angry response.

"But isn't CJ a cloud?" Eileen replied to Mordecai. "That would mean that when you two are smoking, you will be like, reanimating dead clouds or giving birth to new ones."

Mordecai just looked at her kind of weird, and said, "Eileen, did CJ let you smoke some of that before work or what?"

Rigby had already let his mind leave this conversation, as he was furiously rubbing his crotch underneath the table, thinking of Eileen's wet-ass pussy that would hopefully be sitting on his face one of these days. Suddenly, while Eileen got up to move from her seat, her glasses fell off of her face. Rigby instantly popped one of the biggest boners he's ever felt in his entire life. So big, that it ended up smacking the table from underneath, and the table rammed Eileen in the face.

Noticing this, Mordecai made a dash for the back door, hoping that his smoke sesh would remove any memories of this moment from his mind. Little did he know, that this entire time, CJ has been fucking with him, and just giving him oregano rolled up in joints so she didn't waste any of her good pot on him. Too bad, because he's always gonna remember that hot ass Rigby erection that just poked the table and caused massive damage to Eileen's face. If she was a Pokemon, that hit would have been super effective.

"Oh my God, Rigby!" Eileen shrieked out. "What the hell was that? How did you manage to flip the table up and hit me in the face? You are so clumsy!"

"Uhh... Uhh... I GOTTA GO THE BATHROOM!" Rigby screamed back at her. He went on all fours and began to run to the bathroom, as his erection was dragging on the floor behind him, causing him massive pain. He swung the door open and jumped on a toilet seat, plopping his one good ass cheek on it. He quickly began to jerk off to try and cum so that it would go back down and inside of him so that Eileen wouldn't see it when he got out. But, little did he know, that the more he stroked it, the more powerful it became. Soon, there was a complete aura around his throbbing cock. Confused, Eileen ran to the door, and proceeded to bang on it rapidly.

"Uhh, Rigby? Are you alright in there?" She asked.

Rigby just yelled back out with his reply. "IT'S VERY IMPORTANT! STOP TAALKKKIIINNNGGG!"

Eileen busted down the door, but saw no aura like Rigby did. It turns out, Rigby just hallucinates whenever he pops a huge stiffy. Knowing that it was after hours, and no one else was in the store, Eileen ran over to his stall and knocked on it. Hearing no reply, she cautiously opened up the stall door. There before her, was the Rigbone in full force. However, being a raccoon, a huge dick for Rigby meant only about 4 inches. Eileen didn't see it at first, because she still didn't put on her glasses. She put on her glasses, though, the very next second as she walked in to talk to him and comfort him. However, right when they slid in front of her eyeballs, she noticed that his massive 4 inch erection was right in front of her face. Eileen instantly got a nosebleed from seeing Rigby-senpai's massive cock right before her nose.

Rigby, noticing Eileen, began to try to cover himself, but because of his small hands and his massive erection, it was obvious what he was trying to hide.

"Eileen! It's not what you think! I swear!" he yelled to her.

"I don't know what it could be, besides what it actually is - The sexiest cock I've ever seen in my entire life." she replied to him.

No longer feeling shy, Rigby approached Eileen via tackling her to the nasty bathroom floor, and proceeded to try and make out with her. This ended up just looking like she was being mauled by a random raccoon, considering Rigby was a total fucking virgin and had no idea what he was doing. Eventually, Eileen was able to hold his head steady and made out with him, their tongues viciously swirling back and forth in each other's mouths.

The two lovebirds began to tear away at Eileen's clothing, considering Rigby never wears clothes. Her small, but perky, breasts greeted him. On instinct, he began to rub his massive schween up against her leg, as he motorboated her tits. Eileen burst out into the cutest little mole moan. It sounded like a gopher getting its head smashed in by two nuns with giant prunes.

After a few minutes of this going on, Eileen realized how disgusting it was to fuck in a dirty bathroom, so she took Rigby by the hand and led him into the kitchen because that was much better. She sat him down on top of a stool, and put her lips around his cock. Rigby started down in amazement as her head started to bob up and down and her tongue swirled around his punisher. Releasing her hair from the ponytail, it framed her face as her squinty mole eyes made eye contact with his pleasured face. She slowly removed her glasses in a seductive manner.

"Is it good for you, Rigby?" she asked him.

"Stop talking," he replied, lovingly.

Eileen obnoxiously wet her lips in an attempt to seduce Rigby, as she went back to work on his every meat burrito. To make sure that Eileen stayed quiet, Rigby forcefully pushed her head down further onto his cock. This led him to find out that she had no gag reflex whatsoever. However, this was just part of his erection hallucinations, as Eileen was actually damn near choking to death. Thankfully, Rigby got tired of getting a beej from the cute mole, and pulled her off of him.

Despite the choking, Eileen was in so much pleasure. She actually adored pain and wanted Rigby to give her more of it.

"Rigby..." she started. "Would you be so kind as to pour hot, steaming, coffee all over my naked body, and then put a funnel in my pussy and pour even more in there?"

"Oh dear, sweet, Lawd Jeebus, yes," Rigby replied. He jumped up and grabbed a huge container of piping hot coffee and instantly took the lid off, pouring the majority of it all over Eileen's body. She screamed out in pain, and got incredibly wet. Rigby set it down so it poured onto her at a constant stream, as he went to get the funnel. However, Rigby couldn't find it, so the coffee ran out after a while. This means they had to take a 20 minute break as Rigby went through all of the cupboards looking for a funnel. When he finally found it, they had to wait another good chunk of time waiting for a few batch of coffee to heat up. One all was said and done, though, Rigby shoved the funnel right into Eileen's bacon cavern, and poured the entire new container of hot coffee into her.

After literally minutes of Eileen screaming and creaming herself, she shoved Rigby onto the floor, and squatted above his face, as she pissed lukewarm coffee all into his mouth. Rigby drank it, finally happy that the coffee wasn't nasty as fuck for once. Before she had a chance to remove herself from overtop of his face, he pulled her by her narrow hips down and began to nibble on her clitoris like a chained dog trying to break free of its restraint.

"Oh God, Rigby! Do it harder! I want you to gnaw it right off," Eileen told him in a fit of pleasure. She smiled though and giggled while sitting up and ruining the mood slightly. "But not really, of course."

Shortly after, Eileen found herself on her back, with Rigby towering over her. He began to let his hands travel down her body, which wasn't very long considering how short she was. Rigby began to prepare her for his poo-jaber, as he thought there was no difference between a vagina and an anus. A loud screech of pleasure came from Eileen's mouth, as his 4 incher penetrated her tiny poop schute.

"Ahhh, I've always dreamed of your pussy being this tight," Rigby said to Eileen.

"But that's my asshole, Rigby..." she replied.

"Wait, there's a difference?" Rigby asked.

Within moments, they had already flipped over and Rigby had been shagging her vagoo for a good 10 minutes, not cumming at all. Eileen had already came at least a grand total of 37 times. Her vaginal juices had made Rigby's dick all wrinkly because it had been covered in them for so long.

"Hmmm..." Eileen thought out loud to herself. "This calls for drastic measures..."

Eileen quickly ran into the cupboard and took out 3 raw potatoes, quickly peeling off the skin and mashing them. She grabbed fistfuls of mashed potatoes, and smothered the inside of her pussy with them, throwing the last dollop of them all over Rigby's dick n' balls.

"Dinner is served!" Eileen exclaimed, before leaping down onto her knees, and sucking off Rigby once more, but this time he had mashed potatoes all over his dick so it totally felt like ten times better.

"We need more than just these potatoes, you scrub," Rigby told her.

He quickly ran up to the cupboards and threw together an entire omelette of eggs, ham, bacon, cheese, gravy, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, beef, more ham, string cheese (pepper jack flavored), grapes, onions, jelly, peanut butter, apple juice, chocolate chips, butterscotch, mints, bleach, coffee beans, a half eaten grilled cheese sandwich, some pubic hair, about 10 seconds worth of his piss, and some milk. After grilling up the omelette to a super high temperature, he slapped his dick on the inside of it and screamed out in pain.

"After seeing your fetish, I thought I would try it out... And good thing because I love it so much!" he screamed through his tears of pain.

He was enjoying the pain so much that pre-cum actually dripped out of his cock for the first time in this entire session. Eileen wasted no time, making sure to collect every droplet in her mouth, as well as suck the omelette straight off of his hambone, putting him in so much pleasure, that he instantly began to cum and fill up her entire mouth with his seed.

Gulping it, like she could never get her thirst quenched, she made sure to give his funbags the attention they deserved as well. She gave each one a little kiss goodnight, as Rigby passed out from all of the pleasure. Eileen cuddled up to him on the kitchen floor and fell asleep shortly after.

Oh yeah, Mordecai and CJ played video games or something too.


	2. Chapter 2 - Rigby Has To Go To Work

Rigby woke up on the floor after having hot sex with Eileen. He noticed it was 8AM, and he had to get ready for work.

Rigby stood up, left the coffee shop, and got ready for work.


End file.
